The Body’s Instant Messenging (IM) System

In responding to a friend who had broken her toe, I spontaneously described the body as an “Instant Messenging System,” and suddenly the light bulb went on–for me!

While I’ve understood for a long time now that our thoughts and feelings manifest in our bodies,  this is the first time that I’ve realized the immediacy of that–and the clear intent:  not punishment in any form, but communication for the purpose of… self correction?

I haven’t quite figured out the purpose of the information, but the onset of my latest illness is offering some clues:

Last week, I co-led a parent evening on social health.  One particular parent was extremely disappointed with the agenda and interrupted our work again and again to question us with a great display of aggravation.

Thirty minutes into the evening, our agenda was tossed aside and I had lost all sense of where to go with this conversation.  My partner and I regrouped and the rest of the time together was productive.

Yet afterward, I found myself very keyed up–angry even–and I had trouble sleeping.  I woke way before dawn (excuse the TMI) with “the runs.”

Right away, I got the irony of my body’s message: I had wanted to run from that conflict, from that role, and from that person, and most of all, I wanted to run from how it felt inside.

What I didn’t understand is why this particular viral expression had to continue its course once I got the message?  Or was I too late?

I’m writing this exploration from my bed–on day four of this particular Instant Message (IM). And I wonder, how might I have responded differently to this conflict (on the inside and the outside) so that I didn’t take it home?

Because, the truth is, we can’t completely protect ourselves from difficult people or difficult situations, although I do effort to do so.

Ironically, I had punctuated the importance of “conflict” at the parent gathering that evening.  “We don’t want a conflict-free school,” I said to the parents.  “Conflict is important.  Through it, our children learn about themselves and about working together.”

While I obviously didn’t apply that pearl of wisdom in my own moment of conflict, I am now even more willing to listen to my body’s Instant Messenging System– so that we can work better together the next time around.

How about you? Any Body IM insights to share?  What do you think the purpose is?

Kelly Salasin

The Beachcomber

by Kelly Salasin

I dream of a beachcomber–

a truck

dragging its rake across the sand,

Removing my life’s debris

Exposing jewels

of all colors and shape

Rising out of my

breath-filled days.

I wake to the delight of this dream, sensing my life’s work in this metaphor as my mind drifts back to a jeweled moment from the sands of time….

I sit in a single booth at the edge of the restaurant from where I make schedules and plan meetings and talk to staff.

My younger sister sits across from me. She is a waitress.  It has been a choppy summer with me as her boss–sinking back into familial roles, shouting at me across the bayside dining room when I give a command.

Our lives together have been similarly choppy, though laughter filled. There was the time when we shared not only a room, but a bed, and I– at the precipice of puberty– could not stand the touch of her foot beside me, though we spent the evenings tickling each others backs in a game that made you the  “scratcher” once you succumbed to a laugh.

At ten years old (or was it nine?), Robin insists on bringing her large collection of stuffed animals into our double, crossing the imaginary line I draw to divide us. As our family Aquarian, our water bearer, she can’t bear the thought of her friends on the floor and so, it is she, who sleeps there instead,  while they share our bed.

When our family moves from the mountains to the shore, our lives drift apart~ separate schools, separate beds, separate rooms. I thrive in our move as I’m expected to do, and Robin suffers, coming home from school each day crying until she learns to navigate the social sail of pre-teen days.

We are both deep in adolescence when our parents’ marriage begins to falter. Perhaps that explains, in part, the violent turn of our interactions. I dominate with stoicism while she turns volatile.

Clogs are flung, and chairs. Once even scissors. I dig my nails down her back. Blood.

Once again, we are rescued by distance—and then by need. I head off to college and she takes over the wheel of our captainless home.

When she comes to visit me at school, the energy between us begins to shift from sisterly angst to friendship.

When our parents divorce, and our mother begins drinking–again–Robin’s role at home grows overwhelming. Perhaps for the first time, she reaches out to me– for support– and I finally open enough to respond.

I receive many tear-filled and fear-filled calls at my apartment, finally placing an ocean between me and my family as I escape to study abroad.

Robin visits me there too. I force her to walk the Heath at Hampstead and she forces me to rescue her from the two bobbies she flirtatiously “picks up” at a nightclub in Camden without knowing what to do with them once she does.

But it was that moment in the booth at the edge of the restaurant when our relationship took its final turn. There at the end of the summer –and the end of our youth– we realize that we are the only ones holding on to our family.  Everyone else has let go.

For the first time, I succumb to the tidal wave of grief, and it is Robin who reaches across the table of our sisterly divide and takes my hand in hers while we hold the surrendered gaze of each others’ tear-filled eyes.

This is the jeweled moment when all that pained and separated us

is swept away

by the tide,

and what remains

is our shared treasure–

a lifetime

of sisterly devotion

and familial love.

Rumi

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you; Don’t go back to sleep. You must ask for what you really want; Don’t go back to sleep”

The Timeless

In order to be not bound by the tether of time, we must have a relationship with the timeless.

Deepak Chopra

Inspired Altar

To Kuan Yin’s new orange colored throne, my son adds his movable Spiderman, cross-legged, with hands in prayer pose.

Kelly Salasin

do you ever wish you were too important to do laundry?

kelly salasin

the pond is melodic against my skin and i wonder where will i know my body with such play when the waters grow too cold to swim

kelly salasin

There is nothing like the confines of the hygenist chair to make freedom taste so sweet–though berry flavored.

kelly salasin

“When faced with a closet full of negativity, self doubt & fear, gratitude is a soothing reset point.”

Kelly Salasin

“I am the hole on the flute that Gods breath flows through.” Echardt Tolle