a world without facebook

I’ve invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network.
You start being friends with the entire world and defriend people one by one.

~Andy Borowitz

Since I don’t believe in football, there’s no point in being on Facebook tonight.

Instead I’ll help spread rumors about it:

Did you HEAR that Facebook is ending in MARCH!

Seriously, I read that; and after a quick stab of panic, I felt… utter relief.


This is the sort of relief that you don’t even know you need–like taking off your bra at the end of a long day.

Imagine a world without Facebook!

I would read again, and lie in bed talking to my husband at night. I’d open my journal. I’d pick up a pen.

The family would come together more often–around the table for a game or just in front of the tv for a movie.

I’d write a letter and send some emails. I might even call an old friend. I’d visit the local cafe for gossip.

Losing Facebook would open up my life, and my days, and my hours, and my minutes in a myriad of ways.

But before I say good riddance, I should pause to thank it for all its given me:

Thousands of readers with whom to share my passion

Connections with dear old friends

An opportunity to be an activist

An opportunity to practice civil discourse with those who think differently than me

An equal platform for all voices

A balanced forum for current events–in the news and in the day to day lives of my friends

Cultural literacyparticularly with regard to pop culture

Updates that make me laugh and sigh

Kindred spirits who I have never met

Support through hard times, both large and small–my own and the world’s

Shared joy

Precious glimpses into the lives of those far away

The flowering of relationships with relatives I might otherwise never know

The discovery of common lineage with people around the globe

Breathtaking images

Inspiring videos

Poetry to light the soul

Comic relief just when I need it

Flirtations with my husband

Flirtations with old flames

Flirtations with new ones

Oh, Facebook, can I ever count the ways you’ve changed and stolen my life?

Kelly Salasin, Super Bowl Sunday, 2012

Keep the list going with your own gratitude & losses below; or take a look at the next two posts in this series:

Love/Hate Facebook

The Fecundity of Facebook

2 thoughts on “a world without facebook

  1. I left Facebook about 4 months ago now. I can’t say that it has freed up that much time, and I do miss some of my far away friends who it’s now not quite so easy to keep in touch with, but Facebook just became so irritating that I’m happier without it.

    I seriously considered playing the TwoFacebook game toward the end, and unfriending people until I was down to a small group of my real friends, but couldn’t face the politics involved in doing that. After I left Facebook, a German penpal from my childhood contacted my husband to find out if I was still allve. Yes, I am.


  2. Kelly Salasin, I can feel what you write. I am a man living with an addict of this so called face hell. She does not do anything at all with me and the children. She says she now has the whole world to give her the affection and attention she needs. Well go on lady and speak to the lucky guy as you said. I salute you for being woman enough to see what face has stolen from you. Face book is hell


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