“Is there an odyssey the female soul longs to make at the approach of fifty?”
(Traveling with Pomegrantes, Sue & Ann Monk Kidd)
After a decade of anticipation, the time has come to prepare for my crowning. In some ways, I’ve began ten years ago when I read that audacious article, The FU 50’s; But officially, I began my preparations in January, (or they began me):
January: Personal winter writing retreat week by the sea to open up work on a longing to be birthed memoir: Lila~Reclaiming the Divine Feminine.
February: Began listening to Traveling with Pomegrantes, a coming of age memoir of a woman in her 50’s (and her adult daughter), who I should add, travel to Greece, where I meant to be in 1986, but instead came home for my sister’s wedding, where she made me wear a red satin cowboy had, and had my heart broken; and then fell in love with my husband; so all these years later, I’m revisiting the idea of Greece; which was the location of one of my favorite films of female awakening: Shirley Valentine, which was a originally a play that I took my mother to in Cape May when we were both coming of age, like the author and her daughter.
March: Began my first full reading of The Vagina Monologues. (Several more silent readings required before I can say the C word out loud.)
April: Created a virtual book group to begin reading, A Year to Live (How to Live this Year as if It was your Last), by Stephen Levine. A book I purchased and began reading after my mother died at age 57 (periously close to my own age now that I’ll be 50), but never read more than a few chapters. Until now.
May: Began reading The Dance of the Dissident Daughter~A Woman’s Journey to the Sacred Feminine, by the same author of the book that goes to Greece. Realized that the memoir that I was writing was not just about loss and coming of age, but about reclaiming the Divine Feminine.
June: Writing retreat in the Green Mountains (assigned to the Twain Room); Plus my first born graduated highschool; PLUS we attended his college orientation (during which I covertly wept; even though I’m not “that” kind of mother); Then I visited the Jardin Botanique for the The International Mosaiculture Event where I communed with the stunning Mother Earth sculpture garden (pictured above. It’s there till September. Go see it if you can! It’s an afternoon that will keep on giving.)
July: Dedicated writing weeks. Pond swimming. Moon communing. Fire circles. (If the rain ever stops.) Launching of a 7 week, online, chakra-writing journey for women. Also, visited my naturopath (OB/GYN ) for the THIRD time this season, making me question if I’m needing a midwife for this book I’m birthing.
August: Brought my vagina to church.
Delivered my first born to college.
September: Realized that my memoir was not only a story about personal loss, but also a work that claimed, explored and awakened to the Divine Feminine.
October: Launched a 7 month on-line writing circle for women: Journey of the Voice.
November: Participated for the first time ever in NaNoWriM: 50,000 words in 30 days with the last section of my memoir: Lila: the woman, the writer & the goddess.
December: FIFTY! An overnight retreat with family & friends, celebrating women with ritual, dance, food & connections. Recorded my first spoken word poem.
What’s next… ???
Kelly Salasin, 2013
2 thoughts on “Preparing for the FU 50’s”
[…] She had all but forgotten her vagina when it flared with the summer sun of her 50th year. […]
I am where you were, now. Imagining the coming year of self discovery. I am embracing the Divine Feminine and owning my authenticity by allowing. I discovered this women’s group on Facebook called Silver and Loving it, and another called Going Grey Gracefully. I like the idea of Silver better. It’s an inquiry to me right now about allowing myself to transition to my natural hair color at 49 now, I feel so young. I read the posts and some of them are very encouraging and others are likened to Nazi White Hair feminists who profess that you must be like them. Haha. You know, that way of thinking makes me rebel. I am a yogini, so all of that black and white ideology is just bullshit to me now. I have a lot of accepting and growing to do. What is the alternative? The alternative is inevitable and comes whether I am ready or not. I love your writing Kelly. I wish I lived near Vermont so I could see you more often. I keep meeting wonderful women all over and wish I could be with every special treasure that I have met since coming to Kripalu the first time in 2012. Transformation is happening all around me, in me, with me, through me. It’s cool. I look forward to seeing you at some point in 2015! XO